Kill Me

Many of you already know how we feel about poor, misguided, horrific, tragic Lindsay Lohan. Sure, a lot has changed since we last made fun of her, but having just seen the so-called film, I Know Who Killed Me, I can only say this: I would rather have survived a vicious stabbing with a carrot peeler or been beaten senselessly with a case of Natty lite than watch that unbelievable peice of crap.

I will say, this is the first movie where I can recall seeing such a lovely array of spontaneous appendage loss. But honestly, halfway through, when they were showing a repeat of the flashback of Slutface McGee rocking her whoo-ha against a stripper pole, I would have easily welcomed death just to make the pain stop. But alas, we don't always get what we want. So I watched the ENTIRE suicide-inducing film - I'll likely never be whole again...

Final thought: I hope that separated-at-birth-twins can experience non-religious stigmata in real life. It seems terribly unfair that only religious folks tend to experience such a thing. Why should Jesus fans have all the fun?

On a positive note, prior to my viewing, The Razzies reviewed this "film" and I couldn't be happier with their 2008 Awards.

28th Annual Golden Raspberry (Razzie©) Award “Winners”
Worst Picture:
I Know Who Killed Me
(Sony/Tri-Star)

Worst Actress (TIE) :
Lindsay Lohan (as Aubrey) and
Lindsay Lohan (as Dakota)
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

What a Hippy

I can't argue that Jennifer Lopez is anything but hot. However, she is a bit hippy, and I don't mean granoloa-toting, tree-hugging hippy. But it works for her. I've never met a man that didn't want to put his junk in that trunk.

Stori Telling with Style

Tori Spelling, along with travelling fan club (Dean & Baby) were at Barnes and Noble last week for a book signing. We had the great pleasure of meeting her biggest fan. Sweet sweet Daniel, how you did cause a ruckus and how we loved you for it. Not as much as Tori, but close.

Donna?

Sources confirm to the eat a sandwich organization that prior EAS offender Tori Spelling has officially become an ordained minister. Well done, Ms. Tori, first you ate a sandwich, now you found God. Lahayem!

Hey, ah, hmm, any of you guys got an extra dollar?

Probably not.

So Meaty!

Eat a Sandwich has always loved Eli Roth (although some of us do prefer the mark of Gabe Roth). This photo, taken by photographer Tim Palen, reminds us that there are so many reasons to love Eli. He is more than just Cabin Fever. However, up till now, Cabin Fever was enough.

Top that Marky Mark. I dare you!




For more info: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/06/eli_roth_has_his_dirk_diggler.html#more

Jessica Alba doesn't Swallow